Mother’s day tends to creep up on me a bit these days. It’s 4 1/2 years since mum passed away and 5 years since I last celebrated a Mother’s day with her. I can’t even remember what we did… probably just lunch. A month later she was diagnosed with cancer, although being an ex-nurse and not having been in the best of health for a while, I suspect she knew what was wrong long before the rest of us did. That sums mum up really. She always put Dad, and us, before herself.
I miss mum so much. There are days when I just want to ring her up and say hi, ask her about her day and tell her about mine. And I long for the wave from the window as you drove up the driveway. I live in that house now. I still drive up the driveway and half expect her to be at the window. I don’t know if that expectation will ever fade. Most of all, I miss the hugs.
I was her baby, and she spoilt me. I know that. I treasure that. But she didn’t love me any more than my siblings… I was just around to wallow in the love, as the others are spread far and wide. She loved them coming home to visit, would get so excited getting the house ready, cooking etc. She adored her grandchildren; my nieces and nephews. She was proud of us all, and the different ways we’ve achieved in life. Oh, she wasn’t perfect. We had our arguments and there were days when I thought she was just horrid and unfair (particularly as a teenager!) but she epitomises to me, what motherly love is about. It was the you before me mentality. She was old-school, your mum first and friend second. And although she was a kiwi, the “strong irish mammy” genes were well and truly passed on to her from our irish Grand-dad.
Tomorrow will arrive, and I’ll put a flower in front of the photo of her on the piano … hopefully a rose or two from her garden. I’ll talk to her, as I always do, and think about what she might say in response. I can usually imagine what she’d say. My siblings call me “mini-Mary”… apparently I have a lot of her traits. I like to think they’re her good ones.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mary Josephine xx